Since embarking on this voyage of fitness I have really noticed a lot of changes in my emotional state. I have become very aware of my feelings, and my ability to express them. I think sharing something so personal as weight with the world will do that to you, and since I am trying to go full throttle on all aspects of this experience I have decided to start sharing stories in my life that have affected my weight problem. Read at your own risk.
I was in the seventh grade and the spring semester had just started up. We came back to school, and I was still a little upset about not making the basketball team the past November. During the break I really didn’t do much activity, and when I went to Athletics it really showed because one of the coaches made us run some “cream to the top” (I think that’s what it was called) drills and I was getting smoked. Well one coach was not very happy with this and he took me inside and asked if I had gained any weight during the break, and I said no. He then asked me how much I weighed before we went to break and I said about 220. He then proceeded to put me on the scale and I was 220 (I was so happy that number came up, because I was so scared at the moment in time). Well the coach then brings me into his office to talk to me. He begins to ask me why I tried out for basketball, and I told him because I knew I was good, and I felt I could make the team. He then proceeded to tell me that I was way too big to ever play basketball, and that I could never play basketball for him at the weight I was at…I could not help but just begin to ball in the room uncontrollably. I have never in my life felt so bad about myself. Until then I had thought I was in okay shape. He told me to get my act straight or not show up anymore and left the room. My life really changed from that moment. I went from 220 to the end of summer being around 270. I completely lost confidence in myself, and lost a lot of my athleticism.
This moment hurt me, and I can still remember that feeling, but now it is only fuel for me reaching my goals. I will not let anyone get in my way, and I will not give up when others do. I have to be strong for everyone who wants to see me succeed, and I want to succeed to give others the inspiration to do it themselves!
RICKY OUT!