A MOMENT I WOULD LIKE TO FORGET

As I approach the six-month mark of my weight loss journey, I have realized that as my weight decreases, my world has become a much happier place. To make sure it stays that way, I often try to remember some of my lowest moments in life so that I won’t let myself get back there again.
This is one from about two years ago.

 I was doing an internship with a media company in Austin while still attending Texas State in San Marcos. The business I was interning for was relatively close to my grandmother’s house. I would sleep over there two nights a week so that I wouldn’t have to make such a crazy drive in the mornings I had the internship. One night, when I had to make the drive to my grandmother’s house, I decided that I would do my normal stop at McDonald’s and grab a bite to eat. Because I hadn’t eaten since that morning I was starving, and I decided to treat myself to a 20 piece Chicken Mcnugget meal (Large fry and large coke included). When I pulled into the driveway of my grandmother's house, I was about to walk in when I realized that I didn’t want my grandma to see me eat such a huge meal, so I ate the McDonald’s in my car instead.

Chomping down on the food, I always loved to cover the nuggets in McDonald’s BBQ sauce (the only way to eat these things, may I add) and as I was about to put it in my mouth some of the sauce fell on me. Except that it didn’t hit my shirt, it hit my belly.
I looked down and my shirt wasn’t covering my stomach.
The shirt I just recently bought for my internship couldn't even cover my gigantic stomach…A 5X SHIRT COULDN’T CONTAIN WHAT I HAD DONE TO MYSELF. I really don’t know what I weighed at this point, because I never got on the scale, but when a 5X shirt can’t cover your body, it hits hard.
I began to cry uncontrollably in the car as I still ate the food. I couldn’t believe how little control I had over myself. The food made me sick, hate myself and was tearing my life apart, but I still ate every last bite. I sat in the car and cried even after the food was gone because I realized at that moment that my life would be over soon. I had no control over what my body did. It only knew pleasure from food, and even though I knew it was crippling everything I wanted myself to become, I still let it happen.
I cleared up the tears and walked into my grandma’s house as if nothing was wrong. That night I made a promise to myself that I would take full advantage of anything that came my way with losing weight.

I thought that promise would be fulfilled with being a contestant on “The Biggest Loser,” but that never panned out. Eighteen months later, Workshop Fitness has become everything I could have dreamed of and more. With their help I have lost 90 pounds off my starting weight. With their help I have gained more confidence than I ever thought I could have had and with their help I will become the person that the guy eating 20 nuggets in a car while crying will never recognize.